I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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