If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the day after is always just damage control
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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