You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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