Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
