why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
