she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
