Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
