I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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