the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
