Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
