Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
