I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
