Me. At least after what I've been through.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
