Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
now i know why i became what i already was.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
