she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
