Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
