So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
