Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I look better un-naked...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
