Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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