yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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