Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
