We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
