I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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