like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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