If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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