I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
