When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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