Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
