You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
