She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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