she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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