dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
