I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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