you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize