Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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