My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
