i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
