I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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