I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
