what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
All the doctor said was why
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
