the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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