I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
