hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
