He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
