I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
