Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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