Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
