i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
