So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
