Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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