i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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