he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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